Every goldsmith goes through a right of passage, you start as an apprentice working in a shop for a lunatic then you think you know everything after you have been their a while. In my case I thought I was a master jeweler after a few months. I was too naive to know how bad I truly was. Anyway after about ten years of doing it everyday all day, you discover that you are not all that good and it is gonna take awhile. In my case after sixteen years I was ok. I was earning a decent living, I had a house, a couple cars and a family, life was pretty good. Something was missing. I had spent my whole career working for myself and other independent jewelers doing mostly custom work, I had not really been in the trenches, tested so to speak, you know really seen the top of the mountain or more to the point the bottom of the hole.
I did the unthinkable, I took a job with a mall store. Yep walked right in there and said, “I am a jeweler do you need one?” “Hell yea, we are so backed up with jobs, when can you start?” I say let’s set some ground rules. I want to be able to listen to the radio and use the phone and I am only gonna work when I feel like it. Oh yea, and you are going to let me do other stores’ work while I am on the clock for you and I get to keep all the money.
Sure no problem we will pay you twenty bucks an hour. Actually I didn’t really say all that stuff, I just did it. But since they were so hard up for a jeweler they put up with me. My first day on the job I decided I had better clean the buffer- it is a disaster, it is totaly jammed and the sink is clogged up as well. You guys all know that the stuff in the buffer is worth money right? I ask the manager, “Where do you keep the sweeps?” He says “Just throw that stuff away we don’t mess with it.” I say, “Can I have it?” “Sure, I don’t care what you do with it.”
Kaching, Kaching, Kaching -cleaning the buffer just became a whole lot more fun. Oh yea remember the sink? It had a gold trap in it -that is why it was plugged, with gold dirt and lots of it. 3,800 bucks – that is what I made on the whole mess.
Mall jewelery sucks. If you have never had to work on this stuff, count yourself lucky, cause let me tell ya -it is real bad. We sold total junk. I used to grade the diamonds based on my Aquariam grading scale, Frozen spit being the top grade and then their was frozen snot and then the very bottom which I called aquariam grade meaning it would look nice in fish tanks. I was used to sitting down at my bench and having half a million dollars worth of pain in the butt jobs to do. Not here. I dont think I worked on anything that was worth more than a hundred bucks.
Working in the mall is a pretty sweet gig -low stress, lots of pretty girls and the food court. I hit that food court like a drunken sailer, cheesy pretzels, cookies, McDonald’s and my all time favorite Cinnabon. Heck by noon I would be so wired on Jamba juice and Cinnabons I was useless. I would need a nap just to get straight. Being a goldsmith in a mall affords one certain priviliges, every mall has an underground economy. I would do repairs for free in exchange for food or movie tickets. The best trade I ever made was for behind the counter priviliges at the Godiva chocolate store. That required free labor on a very elaborate custom wedding set, but we are talkin all-I can-eat whenever I want. Total gluttany ensued. I ate chocolate until my gall bladder started flaring up and my pants stopped fitting.
Sounds like heaven don’t it. There is only one problem with the mall and it is a doosy. I will be PC here and call it the holidays. Yep that two months of pure hell, total chaos -tons of work, crazy shoppers and mall music over and over again. No more going to the movies and waiting for the manger to call me if their was any work. No more reading magazines at Borders, no hanging out talkin’ to the baseball card shop guys, no sittin’ in the bar of this nice restaurant drinking beer and watching television all day. Nope nothin’ but work and lots of it. I gave my notice the day after Thanksgiving I told him I would stay till Christmas eve and then I was done. The thought of all those crappy rings coming in to be sized up terrified me. Like I said, if you haven’t worked on mall jewelery, you won’t understand. But let me put it this way -I was becoming more of a gluesmith than a goldsmith.
kevinpotter
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{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
What a scream, Kevin! You need to continue your second career as a writer… Can’t wait to read the next installment….
Nan
Kevin,
It has been long enough since I was a mall rat that your description made me smile. You pushed the envelope more than I did, my bosses were just plain greedy but not total idiots.
One BIG difference, almost nothing to do in the 8 weeks before xmas but go insane listening to mall music and cleaning my bench. Sales and service people weren’t allowed to waste time taking in repairs and other customer service types of things. SELL SELL SELL !!!
Jeff
Excellent story, a lot along my experiences.
Keep ’em coming!