$5,000 an ounce gold

by kevinpotter on November 26, 2008

I was listening to the news the other day and this economist said and I quote “Gold will match parity with the Dow.” Holy crap that will be bad. That will bring a whole new meaning to bad.  They said that the Dow could drop to 5,000 and gold would rise to 5,000. At first I thought, “No way.”

Then I looked at the chalk board in the shop where my friend and I have been betting on the economy and I thought oh yuck we will be eating government cheese! We have been betting on the Dow and the price of gold for over a year and we track the progress on the chalkboard. I bet a pizza that the Dow would go below 10,000 and that gold would break 800 and the Fed would drop the interest rate to 1%. I also bet that fuel would go over 4 bucks. I never thought it would drop below $2 again, ever.

Well, I won the pizza big time. I have been feeling this economic slow down for more than a year, probably 2. I have started a new policy or maybe a belief, it is called lowered expectations. I switched to cheap beer Schlitz and Keystone; I started wearing my clothes till they are full of holes; I have no cell phone, never have; I drive a 1956 Volkswagon bug; we have no cable television. I won’t shop at Walmart though, just can’t do it.  Tonight I have been trying to find some friends to go play homeless with for the weekend. I am not getting any takers. I used to do it with my roomate when we were in college. We would go out with no money and have to make our way for the weekend. It was kinda boring because since we had no job, the only thing we could think to do was relax in the park with the other real homeless. 

       If gold reached 5,000, a 14k Tiffany mount would cost almost a $1,000 and at that point I think most people will be broke, so I will probably have to come up with a new career.  Anyway, I have alot of skills outside of being a goldsmith. I am real good on the business end of a lawn mower and if pushed I can still work a cubical and answer a phone in English. I also am pretty good at running completely obsolete machine tools. You know the kind with handles and knobs and no computer?  Have you ever seen those Soviet-era propaganda posters -the ones with the noble workers all pulling together to create a better world? I like the ones with the iron workers and machinists the best. Those are pretty cool but I don’t think it will be like that. No it will most likley suck. Maybe I will wake up tomorrow and the Dow will be soaring and gold will be $250 and ounce. And the banks will announce that this whole thing was just an accounting error, and that they are not really insolvent and the government will send out big bonus checks because they have a huge surplus and rainbows and unicorns will fly out of my butt.

 

 

 

maybe

kevinpotter

kevinpotter

kevinpotter

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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Hans Meevis November 28, 2008 at 11:24 am

“I switched to cheap beer Schlitz and Keystone; I started wearing my clothes till they are full of holes”
I do that all the time and I am STILL not rich—- Great story, as always!
Hans

Britt November 27, 2008 at 9:33 pm

Kevin, don’t forget to wear a kilt on that fateful day….it could be quite uncomfortable! I enjoy your imaginative stories, thanks for sharing.

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